Patience

I have heard a lot about patience in my life, especially in the church. Patience is a good thing. It is a fruit of the Spirit. It paves the way to deep beauty in our lives- any wise person would agree that patience is necessary to live a life that truly honors God.

Often when I speak to someone about a difficult situation in my life, the well-meaning advice is usually this- "God wants you to be patient". Sometimes the advice goes as far as telling me to proactively pray for patience. Most of the time, this great advice. But is it always?

What if sometimes the Spirit wants us to pray with an urgency? I think that sometimes patience is the last thing we ought to be praying for! Perhaps sometimes the enemy is pleased that we are piously praying for patience- after all, we could have prayed for leigons of angels to attend to us and the Spirit to fight for us in the day of evil, and that just may ruin all his plans. How better for him that we merely pray for endurance as he causes us to suffer!

I have been rocked by this quote from Karl Rahner lately: "Sometimes we merely pray for the strength to endure evil, rather than praying against evil itself". I used to subscribe to a form of fatalistic Calvinism, where I thought that every shitty thing that happened to me was purely from God. I don't think this anymore. Now don't get me wrong- God is never suprised. The enemy is ultimately His servant rather he likes it or not. But I am begining to understand that we are in the middle of a deep spiritual battle, and under attack is every bit of life, beauty, and joy this side of heaven. And I am the daughter of the One who will win the battle- may I never doubt the dignity of that, and that my prayers are indeed a powerful weapon that causes the enemy to tremble and retreat in fear of the One who sealed his fate on the cross.